5 Ways To Bring Down 2Face Idibia

 2face Idibia, man, leader, father, legend, icon, god. How can he be brought down from such a high perch? Pulse.ng Analyst, Joey Akan, gives you valuable insights on how to end 2face's brilliance.

This article is bound to generate a huge number of readers. People all over the world are bound to click on this link and try to find out who on earth has found a way to topple the kingship of 2Face Idibia. Not because Nigerians hate the man, no. We really really do love 2Face. Big Hugs!
Many will click on it out of a certain curiosity. It feels awesome to learn new stuff, even if it the knowledge will adversely affect a man you love and cherish. Others will click on this out of disgust and wonder how a certain human can bring himself so low, so as to publicly plot the downfall of another.
Then here's the most interesting part. The 'haters', who comprise of all the terrible people who get high on the misfortune or ill-luck of other people. They certainly will click on this in droves and smack their lips with delight. You guys have a problem, and you need help...and Jesus.
Enough talk, let's get this started. Here's how to finally bring down 2face Idibia.
  • Stop Playing His Songs On Air, Or Watch His Videos Online Or On TV

Well this should be the first line of attack. Imagine a world without 2Face Idibia and his amazing music. Yes. It'll be dark, and friendly to the dull and mediocre humans. Good songs will be on limited supply, and we can gently pass our days in peace, and dumb satisfaction. To achieve this, you have to find a way to get all his songs and videos off all the mainstream media channels. No airplay for 2face automatically makes his reach low, and his influence diminish.
Hurrah! Got him!
But here's a catch. How can this be possible? How can it be achieved? 2Face Idbia is a nice guy who has at one time or the other done a good deed to the media. He's our buddy, and no one will want to betray their 'main man'. Except you pay.
But you can't pay. No one has all the bucks to be able to make us all sell our love for cash. Except you own the world bank. Which I know you don't. I just asked Wikipedia. You don't.
This is too expensive, so let's find other cheaper ways.
  • Buy Up All His CDs In The Market

Yes! It's that simple, just buy up all the copies of his CD's in the market, and make him unable to reach loads of other people. Easy, right?
But that's if you own the World Bank. And you don't! 2Face escapes again! Damn it! There must be other ways.
  • Publish Wrong Stories About Him

Tadaa! This ought to be easy, right? And the catch here is you don't need to spend crazy money to get this done. All you have to do is be creative (which might be too much to ask from dumbasses), and cook up a good story.
Let's say, you begin to imagine and write down that 2Face made a (Faust and Devil) deal with the devil to become rich and famous, in exchange instead of madness or some killing ritual, he gets the opposite of the regular catch, and is cursed with procreation. He is damned to give birth to a Local Government Area-worth of kids, and thereby bring reproach on himself and the ones he loves.
That's a good story, with certain elements of truth. Dude has 6 kids for chrissakes! Just do it fam!
You send the story to the blogger, complete with some money of course. He is dumb enough to accept it, and publish. This automatically gets him a million views, and the tale spreads. 2Face image is destroyed, and the world begins to hate his guts. Job done! Now you can breathe fresh air.
But I bet you didn't consider that publishing falsehoods is still considered a crime in Nigeria, and your darling blogger will get his ass seized by the Police. 2Face will take him to court, just as he has done recently to Icon Weekly Magazine. The court will grab the publisher, who will mention your name, and do evil bad things to both of you, like, throw you in jail.
Of course you don't want jail time, so avoid this. There's no point here.
  • Kidnap His Family....Dad, Mom, Kids, Wife, and Him.

Do this and your problems will be over forever. 2Face will be badly affected, his heart will be broken, so will his love for life. He will slowly lose his mind, and so will all his talent and love for music go out the window. In one fell swoop, you have crushed him, forever!
Here's the catch with this. Kidnapping is a crime punishable by death. And you're way too amateur to cover your tracks, which will make the SSS catch your sorry ass, tie you to some drums, and empty their guns onto the most sexy part of your body.
It isn't sexy to be killed by the firing squad, so avoid this. You can't bring 2Face down with this. It's too risky.
  • Finally...Kill 2face Idibia!

Yep! That's the only manner in which his brilliance can end. Remove him from the equation, and all his good music will go to shit.
Plan it carefully, elaborately, with all the details in place, and you can be sure to achieve it. You win!
Bad news is, you can't do it. Remember the devil deal? It also includes a 'no-death' clause. 2Face Idibia cannot be killed, he is way too blessed and protected to be ended. You can't succeed.
  • And If All Fails...

Then kill yourself! 2Face Idibia has just released a new album, 'The Ascension', and if you can't exist in the same world as the album or the musician, then put a gun to your head, slit your wrist, hang yourself, inhale fatal gas, overdose on sleeping pills, step in front of a speeding train, or jump into some natural water body.
Only then can you find peace. Leave 2face Idibia alone.

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